


Avengers Resemble

by Haecceity



Category: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Legend of the Seeker, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men Evolution
Genre: AU, D'Hara Fest, F/M, Fusion, Gen, Humor, Prompt Fic, continuity bending, mild Bdsm elements, mild swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 15:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haecceity/pseuds/Haecceity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LOTS/Avengers fusion humor fic focused mainly on Darken and Cara</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avengers Resemble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pristineungift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pristineungift/gifts).



> Prompt: Avengers AU. I want Iron Rahl. IRON RAHL. And Jennsen is either Pepper Potts, or Thor's girlfriend idk. Richard is Captain D'Hara. Denna is Red Widow, and Cara is Thor. Garen is like... Hawkeye. Egremont is Nick Fury. I don't know who the Hulk would be. Surprise me. -from pristineungift
> 
> Cheat sheet:
> 
> Richard - Captain America  
> Darken - Iron Man  
> Jennsen - Rescue  
> Kahlan - Diamondback  
> Anna - Agent Thirteen  
> Michael - Winter Soldier  
> Haden - Happy  
> Denna - Black Widow  
> Dahlia - Hawkeye  
> Cara - Ms. Marvel  
> Giller - Ant-Man  
> Serena - Fury*  
> Chase - Wolverine  
> Laura - X-23  
> Garen - Thor  
> Corah - Hulk  
> Walter- Anthem  
> Mika - Scarlet Witch  
> Malray - Quicksilver  
> Zedd - Dum Dum Dugan  
> Alana - Maria Hill  
> Marianna - Crimson Skull  
> Ulicia - Viper  
> Nicci - Mystique  
> Liliana - Loki  
> Verna - Agent Brand  
> Egremont - Jarvis
> 
> *For this fic I'm recasting Serena as CCH Pounder for reasons of awesome

Darken woke to the sound of Cara thumping over to the door. He hoped the furniture wasn’t in her path. It wasn’t that she was deliberately destructive, it was just that between her invulnerability and increased strength she sometimes forgot to apply less pressure to basic tasks. Darken got a bit of a thrill out of the thought that in a moment of passion Cara might forget that, unlike Chase, his pelvis wasn’t coated in adamantium.

“It is three in the morning, Walter. What the hell?” Cara said.

“You have to help me!” Walter shouted. “Rahl!”

“What?” Darken staggered to the door. “Egremont, call Jennsen. Does she have any information about projects involving Walter Hellrung?”

“I’ll ask,” Egremont’s voice emanated from the speakers Darken had installed in the room.

“They said it was just a publicity stunt,” Walter whimpered. The black suit he was wearing was rumpled as if he’d been living in it. His tie was loosened and his cuffs were undone.

Cara gave a long suffering sigh and grabbed Walter around the shoulders. “Then contact Mika, Egremont.”

“Calling on Scarlet Witch and patching Miss Rahl through.” Egremont said.

“Darken?” Jennsen’s voice came through the same speakers.

“Walter is here and he’s- he’s sparking. Walter.” Darken yawned. “Stop whining and make sense.”

“The Order was scheduled for a test run three days ago,” Jennsen said. “Walter was given the powers of a storm. Because that’s a good power to give someone.”

There was a flash of blue light and the room went completely dark.

“Egremont?” Cara called. “Egremont?”

“If you hurt my A.I., I will be very upset.” Darken said, toggling a light switch. “What do you want from me, Walter?”

“I’m not you. I just play you on TV. I don’t want superpowers.” Walter’s hands were ghosts in the pale blue glow of Darken’s arc reactor. “I don’t want to be you.”

“Serena’s idea would be my guess,” Cara said, folding her arms. Darken was suddenly aware that she was wearing nothing but one of his undershirts and a pair of his boxers.

“Yes.” Walter bobbed his head. “It was for a fundraiser for people who lost their homes to the Chitauri.” He didn’t appear to notice Darken’s flinch. “It was supposed to help engender good will for the Avengers Initiative.” As he spoke, the sparks became slower and less frequent.

Darken opened a panel in the wall and began fiddling with the wiring. He grunted as if he were paying attention and grabbed the toolkit he kept in the nightstand next to his side of the bed. “Nanobots?”

“Yes,” Walter said, even calmer. “They’re supposed to have worn off by now. Can you fix it?”

The door burst in and Haden panned the room with her gun. “Freeze!”

Walter yelped and put his hands on his head while Cara just raised her eyebrows.

“Yes, Haden?” Darken asked placidly, wiring around a short.

“The alarm system went dead,” Haden said sheepishly. “You could have been kidnapped.”

“I could have been,” Darken agreed quietly.

Haden hastily put her gun away. “Sorry, sir.”

“Accepted.” Darken closed the panel and pressed a button. He ignored Haden’s slow retreat from the room.

“-from Captain Seeker. Sister Crimson has been spotted by Interpol.” Egremont’s voice said, issuing from a speaker again.

“Repeat, Egremont.” Darken looked at Cara.

“Captain Seeker wants to notify you and Major Mason that he, Agent Thirteen, Chase, Red Widow, and Winter Soldier are going to attempt intercepting Sister Crimson.” Egremont said.

“We should take Walter to the Sorceress Supreme, let Shota sort him out, grab Mika, costume up, and join them.” Cara said.

“Run down on the rest of the team,” Darken ordered.

“Dr. Banner is out of communication range.” Egremont noted. “Her experiments in the Nevada desert are scheduled for today. Garen and Giller are with her for backup, physical and scientific respectively. Hawkeye’s location is unknown, most probably Dahlia is not on a mission for Serena Fury.” Egremont repeated.

“We should catch up.” Darken agreed with Cara. That was a team that was well armed but underpowered, Richard and Chase’s superhuman healing and agility notwithstanding. Anna and Michael weren’t even with the Avengers, they were with Richard. Darken mentally corrected that to Anna being with Richard. In Richard’s place, Darken wouldn’t trust that the brainwashing would have completely worn off but Richard might accept that Michael was working with S.H.I.E.L.D. now.

“I’ll go get my costume,” Cara turned neatly and went to rummage in the drawer Darken had given her in his closet.

“Someday you should fly to a fight just as you were,” Darken called. “It covers more and provides the same protection.

“Why don’t I just tattoo your name on my ass and get red and gold pom poms?”

Darken pulled his underarmor out of his dresser. “You should!”

“You really think Doctor Strange can help with nanobots?” Walter asked timidly, steadfastly not looking at the closet.

“Sure.” Darken talked as he snugged into his underarmor. “Not as much as maybe Doctor Banner could but if they were supposed to be short term and they’re bonding with you, there might be an element of chaos. She’s also a superb healer.”

“I’ll fly Mika while you drop him off,” Cara said, stepping back into the room in high boots, elbow length gloves, and a unitard. Her thick blonde hair hung loose around her shoulders.

“Worried about me behaving myself?” Darken asked, calling his armor with a subvocal command.

“No. I think Richard needs a little more heads up after last time.” Cara said, straightening the cuff of her left glove.

“How was I supposed to know it was a date.” Darken grumbled. “She’s a member of the Serpent Society.”

“Was,” Cara corrected. “She’s reforming for _love_.”

Darken grunted as his armor found him. “I give it two months before her sisters in the Serpent Society- say that five times fast- get her to join them again. Fury’s files say she and Anaconda are really close. Viper recruited them straight from their abusive father, one of those charming ‘mutants are all devilspawn’ types.”

“And did Fury tell you this because she’s worried about Cap or will there be spankings later so I can tell my boss I’ve dealt with Fury’s security leak?” Cara asked, hands on hips.

“I never say no to spankings.” Darken grinned as Walter covered his ears.

“I have never wanted to be you,” Walter said with more exasperation.

“Miss Rahl and Miss Maximoff are here,” Haden shouted from the security station. 

“What’s this about Walter?” Jennsen asked as she stepped into the room. Even in the middle of the night her powder-blue suit was fresh and clean and her cosmetics were artfully applied. Darken had been through enough press conferences to know what a difficult feat that was. And was maybe a little jealous of how easy Jennsen made it look.

“Even better, we all fly together.” Darken said. “And Jennsen takes Walter to Strange’s.”

“Hello, Walter.” Mika gave him a little fingerwave. She nearly flinched when she noticed everyone else staring at her. “And hi Darken and Cara,” she said rapidly. Her dress, boots, and elbow length gloves were all a deep red that flattered her winter complexion.

“Hello, Mika.” Cara said nonchalantly. “We were going to ask you to look over Walter for signs of chaos magic but then we decided to go visit Richard’s ongoing fight with Marianna Schmidt instead. Shota can look after Walter.”

“Oh,” Mika deflated. “Shota has a lot more power and experience than I do. What’s wrong?”

“He’s developed unwanted superpowers.” Darken said over the stammer exiting Walter.

“Oh!” Mika’s eyes widened. “Are you ok?” she asked Walter, visibly holding herself back form rushing to his side.

“Unwanted. Superpowers.” Darken said. “Walter just go with Jennsen.”

“You should tell him,” Cara whispered in Mika’s ear as Darken shooed Jennsen and Walter out of the room.

“What?” Mika startled and then made an effort to look normal. “I should tell who what?”

“For the love of God,” Cara grunted. “Put yourself out of our misery and tell him you think he’s cute and would really like to bone him.”

Mika gaped at Cara.

“And if he starts talking some line about he’s after something more pure or he can only feel that way about a woman who is the one, don’t tell me. I don’t want to be tempted to homicide. At least not with your boyfriend as the victim.” Cara said tightly, remembering too many press conferences of her own where she had to sit through implications that she was an unfit role model and that her and Darken’s relationship was only physical and therefore not worth as much as True Love. Such as Richard apparently shared with his snake girl.

Mika gave Cara a surprisingly friendly smile considering that Cara had just threatened Walter. “I care about you too.”

Cara grunted and tried not to look pleased.

“I won’t tell Darken about you and Hawkeye.” Mika said.

That surprised a laugh out of Cara. “It was a threeway.”

“Oh.” Mika blushed. “That’s…”

“Fun.” Cara said, smirking. “Change of plans, Iron Man. You take Scarlet Witch. I fly in ahead to warn Richard.” She opened a window and flew directly up into the early morning.

Darken could see Jennsen’s car as he flew over, carrying Mika. The speed they were traveling at prevented them from talking so Darken spent the trip scripting his arguments for the next time he and Cara debated types of flight. Though he had to admit that her Kree energy blasts were cooler than Darken’s repulsors but he wasn’t willing to concede that rocket boots weren’t even better. He wasn’t about to admit that as cool as rocket boots were, he was jealous of her ability to take off wherever whenever.

When he found Cara again, she was standing beside Richard and Kahlan, watching Chase fight a young woman in a mall parking lot. The first salesfolk and early bird shoppers had added a scattering of parked cars.

“What happened to fighting Sister Crimson?” Darken asked, setting Mika down.

“She didn’t show.” Richard said. “Anna and Michael are figuring out why.”

“Diamondback,” Darken nodded.

“Rahl,” Kahlan sniffed.

“Where’s Denna?” Darken asked, wincing as the young woman got a particularly good jab in.

“Isn’t she with Hawkeye?” Richard asked.

“At this point, maybe.” Darken rubbed his eyes. “Why are we watching Chase instead of helping?”

“She’s his daughter. Did you know Chase had a daughter?” Kahlan asked, tilting her head. They could hear the snap of bone as Chase knocked the woman over. “She does seem to have his healing factor,” Kahlan said as Chase took a foot in the face.

“She’s his clone,” Denna said, appearing from behind a parked car. “And her name is Laura.” She flicked a glance over Kahlan. “She’s one of Ulicia’s pet projects.”

Kahlan’s shoulders tightened. “I am no longer allied with Viper.”

“Right,” Denna said. “How’s Anaconda?”

“You can’t expect me to just walk away from my sister!” Kahlan shouted. 

“Richard,” Darken said softly right before Denna took a swing at Kahlan’s face and Kahlan grabbed a throwing diamond.

“We’re here to support Chase,” Richard said, frowning sincerely.

“I’m going to go find Winter Soldier.” Cara announced. “Watching a man get whipped by a teenage girl isn’t my idea of action.”

“Chase is a wily man, he might get back on top,” Darken said. He winced as Laura started beating Chase’s face against the blacktop.

“He needs to solve this himself,” Richard said firmly.

“Fifty dollars says the girl wins,” Cara said.

“I’ll take that bet.” Darken put his arm around Cara’s waist and leaned into her side. He was prepared for her to push him away but instead she snuggled into him. Together they watched Chase lose badly to a teenage girl.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I have the start of a longer, more serious fic in my google docs. The fic keeps misbehaving so I'm turning this in. Plus I wanted to put something in the prompt fest that isn't 100% doom and gloom. Pulls on elements of canon from 616, cinema, Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and X-Men: Evolution. As well as being a fusion and including bits of stuff from the LotS character interactions.


End file.
